At a glance: Refuses or resists using the potty despite showing readiness signs. This is a normal part of toddler development. See practical steps and 18 related activities below.
Wait for readiness signs rather than picking an age. Let them choose their own potty or toilet seat. Make it part of the routine, not an event (after meals, before bath). Celebrate attempts, not just successes ('You sat on the potty — well done!'). Use training pants they can pull up and down independently. Read potty-themed books together. If resistance is strong, pause for 2–4 weeks and try again without pressure.
Many toddler behaviour spikes come from hunger, tiredness, transitions, or a mismatch between big feelings and limited language. The goal is regulation first, teaching second.
If this pattern feels intense, persistent, or starts affecting sleep, safety, nursery, or family routines, it’s worth speaking to a professional. Your health visitor or GP can discuss your concerns and refer you to specialist support if needed. The NSPCC helpline (0808 800 5000) also offers free, confidential advice on any child behaviour concern.
Use this when your child is refusing the potty, holding on, or having frequent accidents and you want to reduce the pressure around toileting.
If your child is under 18 months or showing no readiness signs (dry nappies, awareness of weeing), it is too early. Pushing before readiness creates more resistance.
Your child sits on the potty without protest, even briefly. They tell you when they need to go, or they have one fewer accident this week than last.
Let them sit on the potty fully clothed during a calm moment. Read a book together. Remove the expectation of actually using it.
Bladder and bowel control requires neurological maturity that most children don't achieve until 18–30 months, and many not until closer to 3. The potty is one of the first things a toddler can fully control, making it a natural battleground for independence. Pressure or urgency from adults creates performance anxiety. They may also not yet recognise their body's signals in time, or find the sensation of letting go on the potty unfamiliar and uncomfortable.
Don't punish accidents or show frustration — it creates shame and anxiety around a bodily function. Avoid starting before genuine readiness signs appear (staying dry for 2+ hours, awareness of weeing/pooing, interest in the toilet). Don't compare to other children ('Your cousin was trained at 18 months'). Don't force them to sit on the potty for extended periods.
One email a week with practical behaviour tips, calming activities, and developmental insights. No spam, unsubscribe any time.
Spot something that needs correcting? Let us know
