At a glance: Physical outbursts when frustrated or excited. This is a normal part of toddler development. See practical steps and 74 related activities below.
Immediately stop the behaviour with calm firmness ('Hitting hurts. I won't let you hit'). Get down to their level and acknowledge feelings ('You're angry that...'). Teach alternative actions ('Use your words' or 'Stomp your feet' or 'Squeeze this pillow'). Supervise closely during high-risk times (tired, hungry, overstimulated). Be consistent—stop hitting every single time.
Many toddler behaviour spikes come from hunger, tiredness, transitions, or a mismatch between big feelings and limited language. The goal is regulation first, teaching second.
If this pattern feels intense, persistent, or starts affecting sleep, safety, nursery, or family routines, it’s worth speaking to a professional. Your health visitor or GP can discuss your concerns and refer you to specialist support if needed. The NSPCC helpline (0808 800 5000) also offers free, confidential advice on any child behaviour concern.
Meltdowns and tantrums
Start with calm regulation, then move to a simple activity that helps the moment settle.
Read the meltdown guideUse this when hitting, pushing, or throwing has started and you need to respond steadily in the next 10 seconds.
If your child is in danger or another child is being hurt, prioritise physical safety over emotional coaching. Separate first.
A moment where your child pauses before hitting, or accepts the alternative you offer. Progress is measured in fewer incidents over weeks, not perfection today.
Block the hit calmly, get to their level, and name what you see: ‘You are angry. I will not let you hit.’
Toddlers lack the language skills to express big emotions verbally. Hitting is their fastest, most effective communication tool before words develop fully. Their impulse control is essentially non-existent—there's no pause between feeling and acting. Excitement and frustration use similar neural pathways, so even happy toddlers hit.
Don't hit back or use physical punishment—it models the behaviour you're trying to stop. Avoid long lectures ('We don't hit because...')—they can't process it in the moment. Don't label them as 'mean' or 'bad.' Don't ignore it hoping it will pass.
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