Best for this moment
when your toddler needs to move and burn energy, especially when you need an indoor option.
Torch Shadow Disco
At a glance: Dance with torches in a dimmed room, turning darkness from something scary into something your child controls. A 15-minute, high-energy indoor activity for ages 19m–4y. No prep needed.
Fear of the dark is rooted in a lack of control — the child can't see what's happening, so their imagination fills the gap with threat. This activity puts the power of light literally into your toddler's hands. By dancing with torches in a deliberately dimmed room, darkness becomes a playground rather than a prison. The movement and music keep the mood joyful, while the child learns that they can create light, move it, and control what they see.
Parent tip
Start before you overthink it. No-prep activities work best when you begin while the moment is still recoverable.
What success looks like
A good outcome is a few minutes of engaged play, some back-and-forth with you, and a small sign of progress in body awareness.
More help for this situation
Bedtime and wind-down
Bedtime
Use predictable routines, low-pressure activities, and calmer transitions into sleep mode.
Read the bedtime guideInstructions
- Choose a room you can make fairly dark — draw curtains or wait until early evening.
- Give your child a torch and keep one for yourself. Turn off the main light together — make it a team decision.
- Put on some upbeat music and start dancing, waving your torch around the room — 'Look, the light is dancing too!'
- Shine your torch on the ceiling and watch the circles bounce — encourage your child to do the same.
- Play 'catch the light' — shine your torch on the wall and invite your child to put their circle of light on top of yours.
- Pause the music and freeze — whisper 'Can you make your light go really still?' This practises body control in the dark.
- When energy naturally dips, sit together and shine both torches on the ceiling to make 'our own stars.'
- End by turning the main light back on together and saying 'We made the dark SO fun tonight.'
Why it helps
Fear of the dark typically emerges around 18-24 months as a child's imagination develops faster than their ability to distinguish real from imaginary threats. Giving the child control of a light source directly addresses the core issue: perceived helplessness. The combination of music, movement, and agency activates the sympathetic nervous system in a positive way, helping the brain re-categorise darkness as 'exciting' rather than 'threatening' — a process psychologists call counter-conditioning.
Variations
- Tape coloured tissue paper over the torch ends to create coloured light beams that overlap and mix on the walls.
- For younger toddlers, skip the dancing and simply sit together shining torches under a blanket — a smaller, cosier version.
- Add a 'spotlight show' where your child shines the torch on objects in the room and you name them — this builds vocabulary alongside bravery.
Safety tips
- Use LED torches that stay cool, never candles or torches that heat up.
- Ensure the dance area is clear of furniture edges and trip hazards before dimming the lights.
- If your child becomes distressed at any point, turn the main light back on immediately — forcing exposure will increase the fear, not reduce it.
When to pause and seek extra support
Stop if your child becomes distressed, unsafe, or consistently frustrated by the activity. If play, behaviour, or development worries keep showing up across settings, check in with a qualified professional.
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