TinyStepper
Boy in star pyjamas hugging a teddy bear on a bed with a warm lamp and picture book

Postcard from Mummy

Leave a hand-drawn 'postcard' for your toddler to discover during separations.

Activity details

19m–3y10 minslowbothConstruction PaperCrayons

Instructions

Get ready
  • The night before or early morning, draw a simple picture on a small card or piece of paper
  • Write a short message if your toddler recognises some words, or just draw hearts and smiley faces
  1. The night before or early morning, draw a simple picture on a small card or piece of paper
  2. Write a short message if your toddler recognises some words, or just draw hearts and smiley faces
  3. Hide the postcard somewhere your toddler will discover it — lunchbox, coat pocket, shoe
  4. When they find it, the carer says: 'Look! Mummy left you a surprise!'
  5. Let your toddler carry the postcard around, show it to others, or put it in a special place
  6. At reunion, ask: 'Did you find my postcard? What was on it?'
  7. Over time, your toddler may start 'writing' postcards back to you — encourage this

Parent tip

Set out construction paper and crayons before inviting your toddler in so the first minute feels smooth.

Relaxed child lying on a floor cushion with blanket and pinwheel in a cosy calm corner

What success looks like

A few quiet minutes together without pressure. If your child relaxes even slightly, that’s self-regulation building.

Before leaving for work or an outing, draw a simple picture or write a short message on a card and hide it where your toddler will find it — in their lunchbox, shoe, or coat pocket. The postcard becomes a tangible connection point during the separation, and the surprise element gives your toddler something to look forward to rather than dread. For pre-readers, a simple drawing of a heart or a family stick figure communicates the message perfectly.

Why it helps

The NHS Best Start in Life programme acknowledges that separation anxiety is a normal developmental stage, and recommends consistent, reassuring routines to help toddlers build confidence that their carer will return. Transitional objects — physical reminders of an absent caregiver — are a well-established tool in attachment psychology for easing separation distress. A hand-drawn postcard works because it carries the parent’s 'mark' (their drawing, their writing), which activates the child’s internal working model of the secure base. The discovery element also introduces early-literacy concepts: the understanding that marks on paper carry personal meaning, which is the conceptual foundation of reading and writing.

Variations

  • Let your toddler draw a postcard back to you each evening — swap postcards as part of the bedtime routine.
  • For older toddlers, include a simple treasure hunt clue on the postcard leading to a hidden sticker or small treat.
  • Use postcards as a travel comfort: write one for each day of a trip so your toddler has a daily surprise.

Safety tips

  • Use card stock or sturdy paper that won’t tear into small pieces and become a choking hazard.
  • Avoid hiding postcards in food containers where ink could transfer to food.
  • If your toddler becomes more distressed by the postcard rather than comforted, switch to verbal goodbye rituals instead.

Want to try another?

Bye-Bye Activity Ritual

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