TinyStepper

Postcard from Mummy

At a glance: Leave a hand-drawn 'postcard' for your toddler to discover during separations. A 10-minute, low-energy both activity for ages 19m–3y.

Built by a parent of toddlersBest for 19m-3y

Field-tested ideas shaped by direct parenting experience and advice from reputable sources, including NHS Best Start in Life and NSPCC child development research.

19m–3y10 minslow energybothnone mess

Before leaving for work or an outing, draw a simple picture or write a short message on a card and hide it where your toddler will find it — in their lunchbox, shoe, or coat pocket. The postcard becomes a tangible connection point during the separation, and the surprise element gives your toddler something to look forward to rather than dread. For pre-readers, a simple drawing of a heart or a family stick figure communicates the message perfectly.

Best for this moment

for calmer, lower-pressure moments, especially when you need something flexible indoors or outdoors.

Parent tip

Set out construction paper and crayons before inviting your toddler in so the first minute feels smooth.

What success looks like

A good outcome is a few minutes of engaged play, some back-and-forth with you, and a small sign of progress in early literacy.

More help for this situation

Instructions

Get ready
  • The night before or early morning, draw a simple picture on a small card or piece of paper
  • Write a short message if your toddler recognises some words, or just draw hearts and smiley faces
  1. The night before or early morning, draw a simple picture on a small card or piece of paper
  2. Write a short message if your toddler recognises some words, or just draw hearts and smiley faces
  3. Hide the postcard somewhere your toddler will discover it — lunchbox, coat pocket, shoe
  4. When they find it, the carer says: 'Look! Mummy left you a surprise!'
  5. Let your toddler carry the postcard around, show it to others, or put it in a special place
  6. At reunion, ask: 'Did you find my postcard? What was on it?'
  7. Over time, your toddler may start 'writing' postcards back to you — encourage this

Why it helps

Transitional objects — physical reminders of an absent caregiver — are a well-established tool in attachment psychology for easing separation distress. A hand-drawn postcard works because it carries the parent’s 'mark' (their drawing, their writing), which activates the child’s internal working model of the secure base. The discovery element also introduces early-literacy concepts: the understanding that marks on paper carry personal meaning, which is the conceptual foundation of reading and writing.

Variations

  • Let your toddler draw a postcard back to you each evening — swap postcards as part of the bedtime routine.
  • For older toddlers, include a simple treasure hunt clue on the postcard leading to a hidden sticker or small treat.
  • Use postcards as a travel comfort: write one for each day of a trip so your toddler has a daily surprise.

Safety tips

  • Use card stock or sturdy paper that won’t tear into small pieces and become a choking hazard.
  • Avoid hiding postcards in food containers where ink could transfer to food.
  • If your toddler becomes more distressed by the postcard rather than comforted, switch to verbal goodbye rituals instead.

When to pause and seek extra support

Stop if your child becomes distressed, unsafe, or consistently frustrated by the activity. If play, behaviour, or development worries keep showing up across settings, check in with a qualified professional.

Get weekly activity ideas for your toddler

One email a week with practical toddler activities, behaviour tips, and developmental insights. No spam, unsubscribe any time.