Best for this moment
for calmer, lower-pressure moments, especially when you need something flexible indoors or outdoors.
Pocket Photo Peek
At a glance: A small set of family photo cards your toddler can hold for comfort during separations. A 10-minute, low-energy both activity for ages 12m–3y.
Print or gather 4-5 small photos of family members — mummy, daddy, grandparents, a pet — and place them in a small zip bag or card wallet. When you need to leave, your toddler has their 'pocket people' to look at, name, and talk to. The physical act of holding and looking at familiar faces activates the same neural comfort pathways as being near the person, helping bridge the gap during separations.
Parent tip
Set out the materials before inviting your toddler in so the first minute feels smooth.
What success looks like
A good outcome is a few minutes of engaged play, some back-and-forth with you, and a small sign of progress in emotional regulation.
More help for this situation
Transitions and separation
Transitions
Support the switch from one thing to the next with steadier routines and simple bridges.
Read the transitions guideInstructions
- Print or collect 4-5 small photos of close family members and pets
- Laminate them or place them in a small zip bag so little hands can’t tear them
- Sit together and go through each photo: 'Who’s this? That’s Nana!'
- Practise naming everyone and talking about what they do: 'Daddy’s at work — he’ll be home later'
- Let your toddler carry the photos in a pocket or small bag
- Before a separation, say: 'Your pocket people are right here if you miss me'
- At reunion, look through the photos together: 'Did you show Nana’s photo to anyone?'
Why it helps
Attachment theory research shows that physical reminders of secure caregivers — photos, clothing, familiar objects — activate the child's internal working model of safety, reducing cortisol levels during separations. A transitional object like a photo set provides concrete reassurance that loved ones are 'still there,' which soothes the separation anxiety response. The routine of looking through photos together before a separation also creates a predictable ritual that gives the child a sense of control over an otherwise distressing event.
Variations
- Add a photo of the family pet — animals are particularly comforting for anxious toddlers.
- Record a short voice message on a phone to pair with the photos for children who respond to sound.
- For older toddlers, let them draw the family portraits themselves instead of using photos.
Safety tips
- Ensure photos are laminated or in a sturdy holder so they can’t be torn and mouthed in small pieces.
- Keep the zip bag or wallet free of small loose parts that could be a choking hazard.
- Replace photos if they become damaged — a torn photo of a loved one can be distressing rather than comforting.
When to pause and seek extra support
Stop if your child becomes distressed, unsafe, or consistently frustrated by the activity. If play, behaviour, or development worries keep showing up across settings, check in with a qualified professional.
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