TinyStepper
Parent and child clapping hands together mid-nursery-rhyme on a rug

Point and Ask Cards

Simple picture cards at toddler height so pre-verbal children can point to what they need instead of whining.

Activity details

12m–2y10 minslowindoorPaperPhotos

Instructions

Get ready
  • Draw or print five simple pictures: a cup, a piece of fruit, arms reaching up, a favourite toy, a door (for outside).
  • Stick them on a piece of card at your toddler's eye level — the fridge door works well.
  1. Draw or print five simple pictures: a cup, a piece of fruit, arms reaching up, a favourite toy, a door (for outside).
  2. Stick them on a piece of card at your toddler's eye level — the fridge door works well.
  3. Introduce them together: point to each one and name it. 'This means water. This means cuddle.'
  4. When your toddler whines, gently walk them to the cards: 'Show me what you need.'
  5. Wait. Let them look and point.
  6. When they point, name it enthusiastically: 'Water! You want water! Brilliant — let me get that for you.'
  7. Respond immediately to the pointed request — the speed of response teaches that pointing works better than whining.
  8. Over the next few days, add the prompt 'Can you show me?' each time whining starts.

Parent tip

Set out paper and photos before inviting your toddler in so the first minute feels smooth.

Parent and child sitting face-to-face laughing together in a warm shared moment

What success looks like

Back-and-forth between you — words, gestures, shared pretend. Connection is the real outcome here.

Make four or five simple picture cards showing the things your toddler asks for most: a cup of water, a biscuit, arms reaching up for a cuddle, a toy, going outside. Stick them at toddler height on the fridge or a low board. When whining starts, guide them to the cards: 'Can you show me what you need?' Pointing replaces the whine with communication — and communication that works is communication that gets repeated.

Why it helps

Speech and Language UK confirms that gestures and signs 'actively encourage the development of speech, language and communication skills' and 'provide children with a way to communicate so can be helpful in reducing their frustration until they learn to say the word.' For pre-verbal toddlers, pointing at a picture card is a genuine act of communication — it replaces whining with intention. The NHS recommends distraction and redirection as a first response to escalating behaviour, and the cards provide exactly this: a concrete alternative the child can reach for themselves.

Variations

  • Use real photographs instead of drawings — a photo of their actual cup, their actual snack.
  • Make the cards magnetic so they can take the card off the fridge and bring it to you.
  • Add new cards as needs evolve: a card for 'tired' (a picture of a pillow), 'bored' (a picture of a toy box).

Safety tips

  • Use cards that are too large to be a choking risk and laminate them if possible for durability.
  • Attach cards securely so a pulling toddler cannot dislodge the board or magnets.
  • Avoid frustration by keeping the card set small — too many choices overwhelm rather than help.

Want to try another?

Babble Echo Game

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