TinyStepper
Toddler on a cushion gently blowing a pinwheel in a cosy corner

This or That Choices

Offer silly 'this or that' questions to spark conversation and giggles.

Activity details

2y–4y5 minslowbothNo prep

Instructions

Get ready
  • Start with a simple, concrete choice: 'Apples or bananas?'
  • Accept their answer enthusiastically: 'Ooh, bananas! Why bananas?'
  1. Start with a simple, concrete choice: 'Apples or bananas?'
  2. Accept their answer enthusiastically: 'Ooh, bananas! Why bananas?'
  3. Ask follow-up questions to extend the conversation
  4. Gradually get sillier: 'Would you rather have elephant ears or a giraffe neck?'
  5. Add 'because' for older toddlers: 'Would you rather fly or swim? Why?'
  6. Let them ask YOU a question — react with exaggerated thought
  7. End with a real choice that gives them agency: 'Shall we read a book or play outside next?'

Parent tip

Start before you overthink it. No-prep activities work best when you begin while the moment is still recoverable.

Relaxed child lying on a floor cushion with blanket and pinwheel in a cosy calm corner

What success looks like

A few quiet minutes together without pressure. If your child relaxes even slightly, that’s self-regulation building.

Would you rather be a cat or a fish? Would you eat a cloud or a rainbow? These simple binary questions give toddlers practise making decisions and expressing preferences — core independence skills that also reduce meltdowns by building their 'choosing muscles'. The sillier the options, the more language you'll draw out of even the quietest toddler.

Why it helps

The EYFS framework's early learning goals state that children at the expected level will manage their own basic hygiene and personal needs, including dressing — making practice with fastenings and clothing a direct school-readiness skill. Decision-making is a core executive function skill. Practising low-stakes choices strengthens the prefrontal cortex pathways involved in evaluating options and committing to a decision. The 'why?' follow-ups develop expressive language and reasoning skills, while the playful format reduces the anxiety that many toddlers feel when faced with choices in high-pressure moments like getting dressed.

Variations

  • Use 'this or that' for real daily decisions to practise autonomy: 'Red socks or blue socks?'
  • Create themed rounds: all food, all animals, all silly-impossible things.
  • For older toddlers, add a third option to make the decision more complex.

Safety tips

  • Avoid choices that could normalise unsafe behaviour ('Would you rather jump off the roof or eat dirt?').
  • If a toddler struggles to choose, validate the difficulty: 'It's hard to pick! Both are great.'
  • Don't use this game to manipulate decisions — offer genuine, honoured choices only.

Want to try another?

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